me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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