come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
