i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
