she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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