i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
