Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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