im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
