So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
