He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
