She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
