he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
