i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
tell me about the eggs
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