dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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