You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
