His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
