I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
