I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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