As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
