did you get engaged???
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
