My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
