So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
