I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
