you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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