Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
there is glitter all over my balls
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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