did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
