Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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