Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
