Are we in a gay sports bar?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
