so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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