i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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