Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
