my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
