You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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