you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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