We won't sleep together?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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