"it" just moved
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
