Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
