the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
