Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
