I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
