So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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