So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
