I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
