Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
