i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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