Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
