Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
