Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
