awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Small penises have feelings too.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
