oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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