I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
