hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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