Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
