What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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